21st Dec 2018

There is no place quieter than the hospital hallways at midnight. The first steps outside of my room as I’m allowed to stretch my legs past 25 empty hospital rooms- all prepped for tomorrow’s admissions. 

Every now and then- there is a ‘Me’ on this ward though. An in patient with a radioactive device fitted onto the back of their eyeball- killing cancer cells at their source. I’m not sure the staff are quite sure how to handle us OMies (Ocular Melanoma patients) as we are a little out of their ordinary. This is not an oncology ward- but we are oncology patients. The mindset and treatment we are having here causes a few issues as we create a lot more paperwork than your average patient. Not to mention the Geiger counter by the bed to make sure one hasn’t ‘passed’ ones nuke! 

It’s been 4 nights with my plaque- away from my youngest children too as there is an under 16’s ban on visiting and a 2 hour limit on everybody else. Probably not a bad thing as socialising with one eye is very strenuous on the other eye. Not to mention the radioactivity coursing through my what has been squeaky clean yogi body. A slight unbalancing of ones chakra i’d imagine. It’s the winter solstice tonight- yes, the longest night of 2017. It’s a good thing as tomorrow the days start getting brighter- and tomorrow my plaque will be removed and my journey to a tumour free eye continues. 

If somebody had told me that I would be locked in a room for a week in the run-up to Christmas I don’t think I would’ve ever believed it possible- in this time you make friends with yourself and realise the strength and encouragement that you can gain both from within and from the love and support of friends and family around you is remarkable. I am speechless at the volume of messages and love to me and my family. 

I am going to close my eye and mind on today and sleep peacefully until my surgery tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to go home and see my family.