Biopsy or Not Biopsy, that is the question. (Also titled The Beast)

I’ve made a decision to go ahead and have the tumour on my eye biopsied. After extensive research and many a conversation with many a person, both medical and non medical, husband and parent, I have definitely made the decision to see if I’m suitable for biopsy. There’s a reasonably short window of opportunity to have this done post radiotherapy before all the tissue dies and I’m in it. Why? Well- I’m a curious kind of gal and would love to be given the chance to understand a little more about this beast within. OM is such a complicated cancer, with so many unknown what ifs, that to be given a grading on the dna and chromosome make up of my specific beast, it could help in a number of ways. Also- possibly future proofing any treatment options once the research has developed further as I would have the ‘make-up’ of my Primary OM. For those of you who know me, ‘make-up’ is quite significant in my world  So, explaining this to Mum and Dad was, for me, a brilliant way of realising even more that this is the right thing to do, for me. And I now have their blessing. I’m well aware that not everyone would want to know how dangerous their cancer could be, but I’ve always been one for a good fortune teller. There’s only one centre in the U.K. that can perform this in the way needed to obtain the results required. So, Liverpool here we come! Not only do me and Hubby get #datenight x 2 but gonna squeeze in lunch with my lovely cousins too! So after being scanned and photographed, (my eye that is) first thing Monday morning, we will find out whether ‘it’s’ suitable to have the biopsy done on the Tuesday. I do think psychologically that it may alleviate some of the unknowns and provide me with a label to grasp a handle on. #watchoutvegas When it comes to making these decisions I have to admire and respect Greg, my children and my parents for supporting me through this. It’s yet another procedure for Mummy to undergo, with yet more impact on home life. I’m actually writing this week’s blog from hospital where I’ve undergone another lumpectomy. There’s more bits of me in the sluice than left inside! Thankfully, this recently departed bit seems to be of no serious concern. That’s not to say that lying here with an arm full of silicone lines and another collection of stitches make me feel any more comfortable than you can imagine, but again I breathe forward with a positive breath. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow- and I’m in hospital. I have said before that cancer just doesn’t keep a diary. Which is ironic as my diary has never been so full before all this. It also has become apparent that nothing is impossible, everything can be adjusted or accommodated and that we can control some of what we think we can’t. “I’m not sure we will manage that” becomes “that will be fine, we’ll manage!” We are managing. The ever changing circumstances surrounding living with a ‘unique problem’ ( that sounds nicer than ‘rare disease’! ) Random comment to add, did I mention I have the coolest room ever here this time. There’s LED colour changing lights on the ceiling above my bed. Yes, sometimes it is the little things. It’s 4am and I’m in a hospital tied to machines, trust me, these little things are my new friends!