Retrospective Notes from 23rd April.

The days roll into nights, weeks and beyond that. Thoughts get mashed up; fun is interspersed with extreme sorrow and fear as waves of emotion come tumbling in with uncontrollable arrival times. Things start to return to normal as it’s been a few weeks now since I was last put into milky juice induced sleep in a green gown. The results are back- ‘IT’ has a formal name and diagnosis but no cytogenetics were extractable, meaning that the sample they biopsied didn’t give us a genetic reading. Possibly due to the delay in having the procedure done and hopefully that the radiotherapy is working at killing the damn thing. I will now be monitored as high risk until we know otherwise. Which, to be honest, isn’t a bad thing as early detection is key. Vision is at about 65% in my OM eye. Greg and I often lie back- focusing on a fixed point, waving various arms and fingers in my peripheral visual field to determine where the blank bits are. If anyone was watching us- it reminds me of the scene from Gregory’s girl where they’re staring up at the stars. Some of you youngsters won’t have a clue what I’m talking about! Having been given a reasonably clear bill of ‘post laparoscopy’ health, I head into this week with plans. Something I’ve been avoiding having. I’m even scheduled to do a few make-ups on Thursday, and then Friday brings my first ever tattoo! I can’t say I’m working through a bucket list as such, but I’m definitely embracing life and all the thrills and frills that I can get from it. Those of you who have known me for a while will be well aware that I’ve never been one to take a back seat when faced with a situation. The article I wrote about my journey with Yoga got published this week in OM Yoga magazine. I still find irony in the whole O M link. Which led to the incredible workshop that took place last Sunday raising nearly £700 for the charity. It’s honestly the most rewarding and humbling side of this horrific diagnosis. The possibilities are endless and the gratification out ways all expectations. Tomorrow is oncologist day. A time spent reviewing all the information we have and making a plan for the monitoring. It’s a bit like a risk assessment I imagine. This is nothing to do with the procedures I’ve had on my eye- purely the fall out of the fact that I have OM and what it means moving forward.